Habitual

I don’t like to think of myself as a habitual monster. I like spontaneity. Having no plans, living in the moment. Breathing in life as it comes.

But if you are as forgetful as I am, being spontaneous is a hopeless illusion of another life. I make lists, I have to write things down. I am young, but I’ve forgotten who I am a time or two.

My lists aren’t only things I have to do, they are sometimes goals. A few times, even my dreams.

Writing lists is one of my habits, but it reminds me to stay me. It keeps me sane. Even though I am participating in a habit, it teaches me to break the conformity once in a while. Forget something on the list. It’s not the end of the world.

I have a new character. She is unlike anything other character I have created before. She struggles with her conscience, whether she should do what everyone wants her to or forget about it all and stick to her own plan, acting like the world never existed. It’s this power struggle. Stick to a bad habit or run wild? I am interested to see where I can go with with this character. She is leading the story in  many different directions, she is unreliable, unpredictable, she wants you to believe you know the way.

This character has led me to try to break up my habits. Do something different for a change.

One of the new things I started is poetry. I stick to lengthy fiction on a basis, but this. It has opened new doors.

I’m prepared to share some soon.

Breaking a habit can be life changing or a small change can bring a little happiness. It’s not a bad thing to break out of the normal.

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