Bang My head against the Wall.
Make bed with dog still in it,
God I love you coffee.
Take dog out,
Walk all over no man’s land,
Waiting, still no squat.
Get chased by coyotes,
Lovely and did I mention it’s cold out?
I still love you coffee.
Good morning novel,
Oh you don’t want to talk with me,
I’m going back to bed.
I’ll see you in a few hours,
Slightly before my caffeine crash sets in.
The Virus Confusion
“Billy, I think I might have gotten a virus on my computer!”
*furiously hits keys and sighs in frustration
“Well did you google it?” Asked Billy.
“How can I google it if the internet won’t load?”
“Here, I’ll google it.” Billy said as he pulled out his phone.
“Oh God! It’s crashing! My computer is shutting down!” Oh god. Oh God. Oh God!”
Billy shakes his head, “The first article says not to freak out. Listen it says here it’s probably just a software malfunction. Google is telling you not to freak out. Why are you still freaking out?!”
“This is not good. No, no, this is bad. Very very bad!”
Billy jerked the computer away and hit the power button, “Ugh, your WiFi isn’t connected and your battery is low.”
“I, I. Okay I confess my computer hates me. And maybe I don’t know how to work it.”
“Sure, I didn’t notice that at all.” Billy noted with sarcasm.
So I’ve been thinking lately. It’s the holidays, it’s cold out and I need a healthy dose of humor.
Therefore, I’m starting up another theme-esque exercise. Except it’s entirely different. Though I will get back to theme. Eventually.
This new post happiness comes with a disclaimer. Nobody panic.
DISCLAIMER: This is not an exercise that involves me running around town in a Disney Costume, singing at the top of my lungs. That would be well, a bit excessive.
If you were looking forward to that possibility, I have just crushed your dreams. But you’re still going to get some humor!
What I am going to do is document my day to day life. I’m entirely sarcastic but it’s okay.
Anyway I will be throwing my “life stories” at ya’ll (me mocking my twang that lately people have told me is there).