Write

Have you written a story that breathes?

Have you ever written a story that bleeds?

Have you ever written a story that comes out with ease?

Have you ever had to cut a story from your soul?

Have you ever had to throw it out on the streets?

Have you ever had to watch it suffer?

Have you had to watch it mourn?

Have you ever had to help it get back to purpose it was written for?

Is that why you write?

For experiences?

Daily

Wake up,

Get Up.

Bang My head against the Wall.

Make bed with dog still in it,

Lazy thing.

Coffee,

God I love you coffee.

Take dog out,

Walk all over no man’s land,

Waiting, still no squat.

Get chased by coyotes,

Lovely and did I mention it’s cold out?

More Coffee,

I still love you coffee.

Good morning novel,

Oh you don’t want to talk with me,

That’s okay,

I’m going back to bed.

I’ll see you in a few hours,

Slightly before my caffeine crash sets in.

Life Stories: Installment One

The Virus Confusion

“Billy, I think I might have gotten a virus on my computer!”

*furiously hits keys and sighs in frustration

“Well did you google it?” Asked Billy.

“How can I google it if the internet won’t load?”

“Here, I’ll google it.” Billy said as he pulled out his phone.

“Oh God! It’s crashing! My computer is shutting down!” Oh god. Oh God. Oh God!”

Billy shakes his head, “The first article says not to freak out. Listen it says here it’s probably just a software malfunction. Google is telling you not to freak out. Why are you still freaking out?!”

“This is not good. No, no, this is bad. Very very bad!”

Billy jerked the computer away and hit the power button, “Ugh, your WiFi isn’t connected and your battery is low.”

“I, I. Okay I confess my computer hates me. And maybe I don’t know how to work it.”

“Sure, I didn’t notice that at all.” Billy noted with sarcasm.

Catching Happiness

About fifty three seconds before writing this post, I was sitting in a chair staring at a blank computer screen with a sour look on my face.

That idea is truth, but it’s vague. Why was I staring at the computer screen with a sour look on my face? Why was the computer screen blank. Why was I sitting in a chair fifty three seconds before I wrote this post?

I’m a writer. Words ARE my life. Words are physical, words are mental. Life is physical, life is mental.

Twenty Seconds before writing this post I asked myself, why am I doing this? Back to the vague. Doing what?

It’s a question that’s asked by every writer. “Why do I keep writing shit?”

Writing purgatory, it’s the hell no writer wants to be in, but are in at one point or another. Lack of motivation, stress outside writing, bullshit excuses not to write, food time, oh look there’s a dog now let me go pet it so I can ignore the blank page I’ve been staring at for two hours. It’s not writing block, no it’s something different.

It’s raw, it feeds the vile monster living within us, it prevents us from doing the one thing that has brought us to write in the first place. It’s happiness.

You can’t just write to write. Writing is happiness. We wouldn’t put hundreds of words on paper to just calmly say “oh that was fun I guess”. No to write is say the things we are unable to show the world. We are able to be real. We don’t have to hide behind a costume or conform. To write is to face the things we are most of afraid of. To write is to find joy.

Writing IS chasing happiness. It is the purest and most eloquent form there is.

Goals for the New Year

First of all before you say “oh God she’s already beginning with the new year’s resolution crap”. We’re not starting that. No leave it at front door before you click on this blog post.

This is not a post where I talk about making New Year’s Resolutions. No, but it is a blog post where I talk about preparing for 2018. Yes I’m putting on my armor, 2018 is soon to come crashing in. Frankly I would be rather upset if my hair caught on fire in the process. Ah needless to say, we need to prepare because coming to 2018 is the see ya and the bye ya to procrastination and negativity. It’s all in good thought, because I know some habits are a never ending battle to break. BUT, I’m not the type to give up.

So we’re going to grab onto 2018 with our resting bitch face, and hold on as it drags us through stress, new experiences ,and lots of other muck. By the end, maybe a smile will be permanently stuck on.  Ah who knows.

2018 is as quickly approaching as 2017 is to be ending. 2017 has not been a good year. I know for myself it’s been a bad enough year that I don’t need to repeat it. I’ve got to work my butt off to make sure that 2017 stays in the past.

I know they say it’s bad to tell people your goals, but this is a judgement free zone. I know that stating my goals forces me to uphold them.

My goal for 2018 are normal and a little weird. First off I want to get healthy. I have not been myself, and that needs to change. I want to get on a more positive attitude, and try not to procrastinate as much. The next thing that I would like to do is publish at least two books. I have a book hopefully coming out around in March. After that, don’t ask me. I would like to continue to build my author brand more and see where I can take my book sales.

I don’t have a lot for 2018 as I am doing this thing where I stop talking and actually get work done.

Enough said.

To prepare for 2018, I am grabbing my computer, planner, and favorite boots.

I’m going into 2018 prepared, with all words flying.

Stress Management

Oh dear, where do I begin?

This was my thought as I sat in my bed at 3 AM stuffing my face with ice cream. 

After two five page papers and two presentations, this scaredy cat is tapped out. College sucks, but you know I’m surviving. 

So I’ve been pondering a question for a while. How do I manage my own stress? 

The answer: Writing. 

Then ask myself, doesn’t writing stress you out? Because the book you threw at your computer in frustration last night is still on your computer.

Me managing my stress is going outside finding some quiet place in the woods to just sit. 

Us sensitive souls need an escape from humanity. 

The woods is the only place that is untouched from stress. Its devoid of any humans, I am free to think the way that I want. 

That solitude is entirely mind restoring. 20 minutes that’s all I need.